WELL IF I HAD MONEY
TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO
I'D GO DOWNTOWN AND BUY A MERCURY OR TWO
CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
LORD I'M CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
I'M GONNA BUY ME A MERCURY 
AND CRUISE IT UP AND DOWN THE ROAD
 
WELL THE GIRL I LOVE
I STOLE HER FROM A FRIEND
HE GOT LUCKY, STOLE HER BACK AGAIN
SHE HEARD HE HAD A MERCURY
LORD SHE'S CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
I'M GONNA BUY ME A MERCURY
AND CRUISE IT UP AND DOWN THE ROAD
 
WELL HEY NOW MAMA
YOU LOOK SO FINE
RIDIN ROUND IN YOUR MERCURY 49
CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
LORD I'M CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
I'M GONNA BUY ME A MERCURY
AND CRUISE IT UP AND DOWN THE ROAD
 
WELL MY BABY WENT OUT
SHE DIDN'T STAY LONG
BOUGHT HERSELF A MERCURY, COME A CRUISIN HOME
SHE'S CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
YEAH SHE'S CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
AND CRUISE IT UP AND DOWN THE ROAD
 
WELL IF I HAD MONEY
I TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO
I'D GO DOWNTOWN AND BUY ME A MERCURY OR TWO
CRAZY BOUT A MERCURY
I'M GONNA BUY ME A MERCURY
AND CRUISE IT UP AND DOWN THE ROAD