"WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ALONE IN YOUR ROOM?
COME HEAR THE MUSIC PLAY.
LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM,
COME TO THE CABARET.
 
PUT DOWN THE KNITTING,
THE BOOK AND THE BROOM.
IT'S TIME FOR A HOLIDAY.
LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM
COME TO THE CABARET.
 
COME TASTE THE WINE,
COME HEAR THE BAND.
COME BLOW A HORN,
START CELEBRATING;
RIGHT THIS WAY,
YOUR TABLE'S WAITING.
 
WHAT GOOD'S PERMITTING
SOME PROPHET OF DOOM
TO WIPE EVERY SMILE AWAY.
LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM,
COME TO THE CABARET!
 
I USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND
KNOWN AS ELSIE,
WITH WHOM I SHARED
FOUR SORDID ROOMS IN CHELSEA
SHE WASN'T WHAT YOU'D CALL
A BLUSHING FLOWER...
AS A MATTER OF FACT
SHE RENTED BY THE HOUR.
 
THE DAY SHE DIED THE NEIGHBORS
CAME TO SNICKER:
"WELL, THAT'S WHAT COMES
FROM TOO MUCH PILLS AND LIQUOR."
BUT WHEN I SAW HER LAID OUT LIKE A QUEEN,
SHE WAS THE HAPPIEST... CORPSE...
I'D EVER SEEN.
 
I THINK OF ELSIE TO THIS VERY DAY.
I REMEMBER HOW SHE'D TURN TO ME AND SAY:
"WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ALL ALONE IN YOU ROOM?
COME HEAR THE MUSIC PLAY.
LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM,
COME TO THE CABARET."
 
AND AS FOR ME,
I MADE MY MIND UP BACK IN CHELSEA,
WHEN I GO, I'M GOING LIKE ELSIE.
 
START BY ADMITTING
FROM CRADLE TO TOMB
IT ISN'T THAT LONG A STAY.
LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM,
ONLY A CABARET, OLD CHUM
AND I LOVE A CABARET.